10 Types Of People You See At Bondi Beach

Jayne Gorman

Now that you’ve seen how the APAC region does weddings weird, let’s take a look at the West! You didn’t think places like Germany, Cuba or Sweden didn’t have their own touch of weirdness, did you?..

Sydney’s world-famous Bondi Beach (14 mins driving trip from Ovolo Woolloomooloo Hotel) is a paradise for people-watching. You’ve got boho locals, barefoot surfers and sunburnt tourists all mixed up on one stretch of sand. Just for laughs, here’s our tongue-in-cheek take on 10 types of people you might come across on Bondi Beach.

1. The dude doing laps in the sand

There’s always at least one person on Bondi performing their own special kind of self-torture by jogging on the sand. You’ll see these uber-tanned types weaving around seagulls and sunbathers in pursuit of the perfect body – rather them than me!

2. The chancers who ignore the flags

There are so many chancers who come to swim at Bondi Beach that they made a whole show out of it. (You’ve seen Bondi Rescue, right?) Either due to language barriers or wilful ignorance there are always a handful of people who ignore the safety flags and dangerous current signs and jump right into Bondi’s dangerous rips. You can literally spot the ones who will be rescued from near-death on the show next season.

3. The person dressed like they’re heading to the Arctic Circle

Bondi attracts tourists from around the world, even the ones who don’t appear to be familiar with the dress code. Granted they may just be passing through on route to a meeting (or flight to the Arctic Circle?) but will boots, a coat and 7 layers ever be appropriate beachwear?

4. The ones who got burned

At the other end of the spectrum are the tourists (usually Irish or British – I should know, I’m one of them) who stripped off without applying the appropriate sunscreen. Public Service Announcement: the sun is a scorcher in Australia. Apply sunscreen, lots of it, and all over your body. Nothing marks a tourist like a red back with a white handprint from the one part you bothered to reach with sunscreen.

5. The family that come with the whole kit and caboodle

Some Sydney-siders are professional beach goers. They don’t just rock up with a Turkish towel like the backpackers but come with their own tent, ice box (or esky to the Aussies), windbreakers, boogie boards, gourmet picnic basket.. you get the gist. The only thing they don’t bring with them is a barbie but most beaches in Sydney have them already.

6. The barefoot surfers

You’ll see them marching down the Hall Street in just a wet suit and wonder 2 things:

1: How is the scalding hot tarmac not burning their feet?

2: Where on earth have they put their keys?

7. The ones who come for the ink

Another reality show based out of Bondi follows the staff and customers of Bondi Ink tattoo parlour.  The show’s just finished wrapping its second season and has made the parlour so popular that the likes of Iggy Azalea, Zayn Malik and Ronan Keating have all dropped in to get inked.

8. The ones that come for the selfies

So we’re all guilty of this one. Only question is should you pose by the sea, the street art or Bondi Icebergs again because it netted you 200 likes last week.

9. The ones who hate sand

I’m married to one of these people. Some peeps just don’t know how to handle sandy situations – making things worse by dumping the sticky sunscreen bottle in the sand or putting sand-coated feet on their towel and then getting angry about it. These people are the most fun to watch as the more the sand infiltrates their bits and bobs the angrier they get and the harder it becomes for them to act like a normal person at the beach.

10. The foodies who dig the hipster cafes

These days people don’t just come to Bondi for the beach, it’s pretty big on the brunch scene too. Whether it’s Harry’s hotcakes or Speedo’s cronuts, there’s always a trendy new dish to try down at Bondi and flocks of foodies ready to road-test them. Remember, if you don’t Instagram it, it didn’t happen.